Living in a dark world of my own is not an easy thing for the past few years.
I choose to work by my own as a translator and a transcriber. Denying the world's need of communication and networking to proceed with development in life.
It is not easy as I suffered from the feelings of loss and down and not as par as any one around my age.
Literally i tied my self upon other people's life as the-person- who-runs-errand.
Until one day I decided to break it lil by lil, the cocoon I build over the years, the need to communicate, and I applied few jobs for the reason of that. Guess what, a company hired me, as a Customer Service Executive.
How irony I felt that time, from a person who can't keep a long conversation with other over many years, to a person who's work need to talk, and mainly talks.
Gosh my anxiety is over the top every single time I need to say " Hello" to a complete stranger.
Even up till now, after few months, I still feel the anxiety but the intensity is less compare tothe first time.
I guess depression and anxiety can be controlled by the person him/herself.
Relapsed do occur once in a while, for example yesterday. But, I guess by counting the frequency, make me feel grateful as it has been greatly decreasing.
Dear me, I am so sorry for letting myself go for the past few years.
I really do. I shouldn't let myself occupied with emptiness for so long.
Dear God, I am thankful and grateful to You as You always been there for me upon my ups and downs, upon my darkness and shines even when others was never there.
To other's who might have been reading this and having the same problem, my prayers are to you. May we all find our ways to be a better person in life and the afterlife.
Even if you do not belief the afterlife, may the peace of life embrace you.
Till again.
Much Love.
