A Note For Me Today

 This is a note for me today.

I want to write something for myself.
I hope whatever I write today will be heard by my own heart and mind.
It might sounds slightly weird because of my chaotic mind, I still hope that whatever I feel can be conveyed through words.
So please, be patient with me, my dear self.
The words you say to yourself every day matter.

You are listening to everything you say, and over the years, it becomes an unconscious mantra, a subtle yet continuous prayers.
So, what I need you to do right now is to change everything.
Change the things you say to yourself every day.
Change the way you see yourself.

You can do better.
Being depressed is not who you are.
It is a symptom that you are currently sick.
And somehow, for some reason, you let yourself stay sick for a long time.
It’s time for you to take over your life and not let these symptoms take over you.

Let’s find one path and follow it ruthlessly.
Move.
You are not a hill that can’t be move away. Even continents can move.
So move.
Remember what your younger, freshly depressed self once said?
Just follow that voice.

Right now, you have become so accustomed to everything around you that you feel safe in this chaos.
Move.
This is actually hell and you just choose to be buried in it.
Remember what the younger you wanted?
To not stay in one place.
To fly everywhere in this world and find peace within that lifestyle.

You’ve passed thirty. That’s actually a big number for a human being.
Ditch the mind of dying before thirty – you’ve already outlived that.
God gave you life. Appreciate it.

Missing someone doesn’t mean you should die too.
So, live.
Live a life that, when one day you meet those you love, you can tell them interesting stories instead of,
“I lived my life just waiting for you.”
That’s so fucking boring.

Move on.
Be present.
Don’t be anxious – you’re not that young anymore.

Let’s try this.
Let’s move on.

- to me.