Throughout our life, we often
kidnap ourselves from the life that we actually want
because we think a
different path is going to help us survive, pay our bills, or meet our needs in
the world. We never managed on to actually figuring out what we really want in
life.
Pull out a journal and
start by writing,
"I'm my own
kidnapper."
List all of the ways over
the years that you silenced the truth of what you actually want, all of the
times that you took yourself captive on soul-crushing journeys that you didn't
even want to be on.
Think about how so many of
us choose majors in college or career paths that we don't even want to be on, because
we think it will help us survive or meet our needs in the world. But it doesn't
have to be that way.
Ask yourself,
"Where am I kidnapping
myself from the life that I really want?"
"How am I giving away
my power, getting into fear, just to meet my needs in the world?"
When we go into fear, we
give away our power and we disconnect from who we really are and what we really
want. Somehow, there are three key steps that you can take right now and call it
a "U-Turn" which is the decision to get out of fear and come home
to yourself.
1. SELF AUDIT
Ask yourself,
"Where am I holding
myself captive?"
This means being honest
with yourself about where you are, what's working for you, and
what isn't. If you think
about it, we come into the world, our natural state is with so much love,
creativity , think about kids, they have inspiration and yet over time we're
taught to fear.
And fear is a necessary
inner alarm system that we all need to survive in the physical world.
Think about it.
We learn to look both ways
before we cross the street.
We learn not to touch the
stove when it's hot.
We learn not to talk to
strangers.
But over time, we get hurt.
Life throws us curve balls.
We learn to stop taking
risks and start being afraid.
We get afraid to put ourselves
out there.
We start calling ourselves
"practical" or "realistic"for making choices that seem "responsible"
when really we're just so scared of criticism.
And if we're being really
honest with ourselves, people who call themselves realists are often just
dreamers who got their hearts broken somewhere along the way.
So how do you make a
you-turn?
You do a self audit.
You come home to yourself.
And that's why one of my
favorite questions to ask people is,
"What do you know that
you wish you didn't know?"
Maybe some of you, deep
down know that you're hiding from the truth. Maybe you're hiding from the fact
that you hate your job, but you won't admit it because you're scared and you
don't know where to go next.
Or maybe you're hiding from
the fact that you married the wrong person, but you're scared to admit it
because it's going to unravel your life to get a divorce.
Or maybe you know that
something is going on with your health, but you're scared to go to the doctor because
you don't want to hear the diagnosis.
Whatever it is, tap into
what's deeply true for you, seeing things as they are - not worse than they
are, not better than they are, but as they actually are.
In order to figure out what
you really want, you need to see the truth of where you are. And maybe right
now you feel pain bubbling up inside of you as you look at what's true for you.
But know this, pain is often a trampoline that will launch us
into our next stage of life
if we're willing to let it.
2. FOLLOW YOUR FREEDOM
Pay attention
to what feels good to you so that you can finally set yourself free. But,
"How do I feel what
feels good?"
We live in a world right
now of Internet trolls and tweets and text messages, and the data is officially
in, we are so connected that we're somehow, according to research, more
disconnected than ever.
We've heard it all before. "Do
what you love, and the money will follow." Or my least favourite piece of
advice, "Follow your passion." These short expressions are often a fast
track to nowhere. But when you learn to really follow what feels good to you, your
purpose is often either right in front of you or on the periphery of that.
"Well, how do I really
connect to my body? How do I feel what feels good?”
Right now, scientists are
calling our gut "our second brain," and you've probably heard the
research that suggests that there's more than 200 million neurons in our gut, which
is equivalent to the size of a cat or dog's brain.
So what does that mean to
you? That means if in your nervous system you're feeling some sort of anxiety
or disconnect, some nerves, something feels off, to trust it because your body
is a messenger and it is constantly giving you feedback.
But who you are at age 25
isn't going to be who you are at age 30, and it certainly isn't going to be who
you are at age 40.
See your career as an
experiment that really meets you where you are - a vehicle for your own
self-expression. You can start with writing down all of your ideas and checking
in with your body, seeing how they feel to you.
Do you feel joy?
Or do you feel fear?
Do you feel expansion?
Or do you feel contraction?
Do you feel liberation?
Or do you feel suffocation?
There is this one tool
called The Joy Journal.
When you're feeling
disconnected, for 30 days, take the time to write down every single moment -
that moment that lit you up the most every single day.
Even if it's the woman you
talk to in the bathroom line at the club or the meeting you led at work. Pay
attention.
And at the end of the 30
days, take note of if there's any patterns in your inspiration. Really ask
yourself, "What skill set am I using when I'm the most inspired?" Because
when you're in your inspiration, you're not being run or kidnapped by your
fear.
3. ENGAGE
Needless to say, your cute little joy journal isn't going to get you
that love interest that you've been pining over or that dream job that you
really want. Action will. But perfectionism is the enemy of action.And often, perfectionism
is a mask that we all wear when we're afraid of failure.
So ask yourself, "Am I
a perfectionist?"
Because here's the truth of
the matter. Clarity comes from engagement. It does not come from thought. Limbo
is powerless.
So if you want to be
powerful, look at your list, pick something that feels good.
Show up, see what feedback
the universe gives you, make a commitment, and know that you can course-correct
along the way.
Think about how the truth
always really does leave clues.
We all have the opportunity
to free ourselves. And it starts with really taking a look at who you are.
Doing a self audit.
Following what feels good.
And taking action.
No matter where you are in
your life right now, you have the opportunity to make a you-turn.
That means connecting to
the truth.
Connecting to your body.
Connecting to your joy.
Most of all, that means
making your U-TURN.
~ inspired by a talk I listened to today~
